I just took a pleasant stroll into Swindon town centre with a tenner and came back 1.7 grams heavier, or about 1.4 grams if I know anything about Swindon, which unfortunately I do.
On the way back I encountered two people dressed as a kangaroo and a koala bear, something to do with promoting the australian bar Walkabout. Strangely enough, all I could think about as I passed them was what I would do if they raped me.
Imagine that:
Hi, I'd like to report a sexual assault please (pretty calm for a rape victim I know, but I like to think I've got good composure).........
Description? Yeah one had a bushy tail and powerful thigh muscles - the other was incredibly cute but rather violent and had sharp claws........Ethnic origin? Um, ...... marsupial?
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Anyway, I've lived to see another day with my anus intact. And, as I always say, each day you do that you can give yourself a pat on the back. Nice.
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